Divorce and Healing

I’ve been seeing more and more women going through the pain of divorce.

I chose to leave...both times. And both times, I was beyond devastated. I felt grief and loss deeper than I ever imagined possible.

The first time, I didn’t miss my ex. He was abusive, and I was glad to be free of him. But I still felt the weight of loss. I still had to grieve what could have been. What should have been. What I had dreamed about since I was a little girl. My fairytale wedding turned into a nightmare the moment the doors closed behind us.

Someone once asked me why I ever got married a second time. I told them, “I’m an optimist.” But if I’m being honest, it was more than that. I was also codependent. I hadn’t fully healed or done the inner work after my first marriage. I was afraid to be alone, so I jumped in.

In all honesty, I did my now ex-husband a disservice. I did both of us a disservice. But we were happy. I was content. I was a good wife. I was fully committed, and we had so many beautiful plans.

So when he confessed to his affair - and all the lies and betrayals that came with it - it shattered me. I felt like I couldn’t breathe. My entire world ended. My best friend had hurt me in the most painful way imaginable.

In a way, I did die.

But I needed to. Because from that pain, I was reborn.

I made the decision that I didn’t want to feel miserable anymore. I didn't want to be in survival mode my whole life. So...I chose to heal. And let me tell you, healing was the hardest thing I’ve ever done. It took deep, messy work. It took commitment. It took showing up for myself every single day. And it meant finally looking inside and acknowledging things I had been repressing my entire life.

I had to look inward in order to fully heal

Even writing this now brings back so many memories. They’re bittersweet. I want to reach back in time and wrap that version of me in the biggest hug. I smile through the tears because I’m so grateful for the life I’ve built on the other side of that pain.

I’m stronger. I’m freer. I’m more resilient. And most importantly, I love myself.

I love the girl I was. I love the woman I became. And I love the version of me who is still unfolding. I’m becoming the woman I always needed. What a beautiful gift.

There are days now when I cry...not from sadness, but from joy. From gratitude. My life is amazing. And I mean that with my whole heart. I’m so thankful to the Universe for every experience that shaped me.

And yet… I keep seeing the pain I once felt all over social media. Women hurting. Women lost. Women aching. It breaks my heart, because I want to help so badly.

That’s why I became a coach.

It’s why I’m learning how to build a website, create offers, and figure out the wild world of marketing. Because I know how it feels to be in that darkness. And I know how to walk someone out of it.

If you’re in the middle of a divorce, or still struggling in the aftermath, I want you to know this: You can build a beautiful life for yourself from the ashes.

And if you want to know how, I’m offering a free master class for women just like you. You can find more info here.

You are not broken. You are becoming.

Not only will you get through this, but you can create a life more beautiful than you ever imagined. And I would be honored to walk beside you as you do.

Let’s rise, together.